How did you get that shiner?

I drove to Jacksonville on Saturday to see Melinda in her new apartment at the Arc Jacksonville.  When she opened the door, I saw that Melinda had a nasty black eye.  Her new friend, Emily, held the door for me as I entered the surprisingly clean apartment.

As I put my stuff down, I asked Melinda, "How did you get that black eye."  She said, "Well, I was in a pillow fight.  You know those great big pillows.  Maggie threw one at me, and I missed it.  It hit me in the eye, and that's what happened."

"Melinda, a pillow could not give you a black eye like that."

Popping into the living room from Melinda's bedroom, Maggie said in a loud, definitive voice, "Yes, it did."

"No, it didn't."

"Yes, it did."

At that point, I realized I was going nowhere in this conversation.

I noticed that Melinda had a band-aid over her eye, and I asked her, "Did you cut yourself?"

"No."

"Then why do you have a band-aid on your forehead?"

"My fingernail hit my head, and it started to bleed."

"That means you cut yourself."

"Probably so."

Maggie interjects at this point, "No, she didn't cut herself."

I say, "Skin that's not cut doesn't bleed.  When you open up skin, it bleeds.  That's called a cut.  She obviously cut herself."

"No, she didn't."

Again, I was going nowhere in this conversation.

When Melinda's guests left, she and I talked some more about this pillow fight accident.  Melinda once again said she scratched herself with her fingernail, which caused the bleeding.  I looked down at Melinda's completely bitten off or cut down nails, and asked, "How could you cut yourself?  You've got no nails."

"You're right, I don't."

"Okay, I've been trying to figure this out as Perry Mason would.  Do you think maybe you were trying to catch the pillow, and you accidently hit yourself in the eye.  Do you think that's what happened?

"That's possible.  That's funny, Melanie.  You were thinking like Perry Mason!  We were going to tell you I had a new boyfriend, and he hit me."

"I don't think I would have believed that."

"You would have believed it if I had kept a straight face."

"Maybe you're right."