Way too long on a diet

Melinda has lost more than 75 pounds in the last 2 years.  I pretty much control what she eats, although not when she eats it. I give her enough food, packed in boxes labeled by the day, for a week or so at a time.  She gets breakfast, lunch, dinner, a dessert, a fruit, a yogurt, a bag of popcorn, and a couple of snacks such as a fruit bar or peanut butter crackers.  She drinks light chocolate soy milk, and she gets one diet Coke per day.  More and more frequently Melinda lets me know that she is out of food.  Here's how it goes:

"Hi, Melanie, I don't have any food for tomorrow."
"I gave you enough food to last through Saturday.  It's only Thursday."
"No, I didn't have food through Saturday.  I'm out of food."
"The only way you would be out of food is if you ate out of the other boxes.  Did you eat out of the other boxes?"
"No."
"Yes, you did."
"No, I didn't."
"Melinda, I have your menu right here.  Where's your copy?"
"I don't know."
"It should be in your notebook.  I put it in there when I delivered your food."
"Oh."
"So, you ate out of the other boxes, didn't you?"
"No."
"That's the only way you could have run out of food."
"You didn't give me enough snacks for every day, and so I had to eat some from another day."
"That's not true.  I put snacks into every box.  You can see that on your menu.  You just ate extra didn't you?"
"I don't know."
"Yes, you do."
"Okay, I cheated."
"I know."
"I'm still out of food."

Who knew plungers break?

Melinda called me today, after I had already been to her apartment after work.  She tells me the toilet is clogged.  This is not a new problem for her.  I've talked her through unclogging the toilet over the phone from our cabin in North Carolina and from my son's condo in Evanston, IL.  Usually, it takes awhile, but she gets it done.  We have to talk about creating a vacuum and not just bouncing the plunger up and down in the water.  This time, however, it was not going well.  Even after 4 or 5 attempts, with me anxiously waiting on the phone to hear the result, the toilet was still clogged.  Resigned, I got in the car and drove over to fix the potty.  To my dismay, the plunger had turned inside out, and nothing I could do would make it right.  So, I got into the car again, drove to Target, purchased a new plunger, and went back to solve the problem.

Meanwhile, Melinda is trying to talk to me conversationally about our upcoming trip to Seattle.  I told her in no uncertain terms, but in very polite tones, that I would not be able to talk to her until after I had finished with the task at hand.  After arming myself with a trash bag, paper towels, Pinesol, a mop, some towels, and the new plunger, I went in to conquer the problem.

Clean at last, the bathroom and I decided to call it a day.  I kissed Melinda goodbye and echoed, "I love you," as I locked her door and walked through the parking lot to my car.  I dropped off the garbage bag at the apartment dump site and drove home, thinking all the while, thank goodness I didn't have a meeting tonight.  Time to solve emergencies is definitely a gift from God.